Not a to-do list to complete in one sitting. A framework to return to, revisit, and gradually fill in as conversations happen and decisions take shape.
None of this happens in one conversation or one afternoon. The goal is to start, and then keep going.
CONVERSATIONS
- Talk about what matters most to them as they age: independence, comfort, staying home, not being a burden.
- Explore their preferences around medical care, especially in more serious scenarios.
- Ask how they imagine their living situation changing over time.
- Treat this as an ongoing dialogue, not a single heavy conversation to get through.
LEGAL DOCUMENTS
- Confirm their will is completed and reflects current intentions.
- Ensure a durable power of attorney is in place for financial decisions.
- Designate a healthcare proxy who can speak for them if needed.
- Complete an advance directive or living will.
- Make sure all documents are accessible, not just filed somewhere.
FINANCIAL OVERVIEW
- Get a clear picture of bank accounts, investments, and income sources.
- Understand how bills are paid and what recurring expenses exist.
- Review insurance policies: health, long-term care, life.
- Document key contacts: financial advisors, accountants, attorneys.
- Put a secure system in place for passwords and account access.
HEALTHCARE INFORMATION
- Keep a running list of doctors and specialists.
- Maintain an accurate, updated medication list.
- Document any chronic conditions and ongoing treatments.
- Talk openly about quality-of-life preferences: what matters and what doesn’t.
LIVING ARRANGEMENTS
- Talk about whether staying home is the priority and what that would require.
- Explore openness to in-home care, even hypothetically.
- Consider downsizing or relocating before it becomes urgent.
- Discuss thoughts on assisted living or other options, without pressure to decide now.
EMERGENCY PLANNING
- Identify emergency contacts and make sure they’re accessible.
- Know where all important documents are stored.
- Establish a plan for accessing the home if needed.
FAMILY COORDINATION
- Talk openly about who takes on which roles and responsibilities.
- Align expectations early to prevent confusion or resentment later.
- Agree on how you’ll communicate and share updates as things evolve.
Return to this whenever something shifts. A new diagnosis, a harder season, a conversation that finally opened a door. None of these items have a deadline. They just need a start. When you're ready to go deeper on any of these areas, the conversation guides are a good next step.